There’s no fixing stupid and, although some of us would never own up to it, we have all done some pretty dumb things when riding motorcycles. Here are some of our favorites.
Brain Fade 1: You’re coming up to a very busy intersection and you want to turn left. There’s a ton of traffic ahead of you and lots of pedestrians milling around on the sidewalk. You hit the horn instead of your signal and everyone is suddenly looking at you, including the enormous angry guy in the truck ahead who is now confused as to why you’re beeping at him.
Brain Fade 2: It’s a sunny day, you’re out on your bike and you’re looking good. Nothing wrong with grabbing a quick look at your reflection in the store windows as you ride by, right? Nothing wrong at all, except the traffic ahead has suddenly backed up and you now need to stop admiring yourself and be on the brakes to keep from rear-ending the car ahead of you.
Brain Fade 3: Damn it’s cold outside. Time to put on the cold weather gear. Step into that expensive riding suit, zip yourself in. Put on the backpack with chest and abdomen straps, pull on your helmet and put on those thick cold weather gloves. Walk outside to your motorcycle and realize your key is still in your jean pocket. (Ouch!)
Brain Fade 4: You’ve been riding all day and you’re getting tired. You pull up at a stoplight. You think your sunglasses have slipped down your nose a little. Lift your visor up and poke yourself in the eye. Only then do you remember you’re not wearing them as you’re riding at night. Have to pull over, as you may have a corneal abrasion.
Brain Fade 5: Quick run to the grocery store on your bike. You’ve got the list of everything you need and it shouldn’t be that difficult to get it all on your motorcycle. The problem is that no matter how many times you’ve done this you always buy more than your bike’s bags can carry. You now have to ride home with three cans of beans, a six-pack of beer and a large loaf of bread stuffed down the front of your jacket.
Brain Fade 6: Pull up at an intersection. Surrounded by traffic. Some of the drivers are checking out you and your bike. You’re looking ahead, waiting for the light to turn green. When it does you twist the throttle and go nowhere as you’re still in neutral. There now follows a frantic scrabble to find a gear and just get going, as the guy behind you is getting impatient. You slope off in third gear, lugging the engine and looking like a chump.
Brain Fade 7: It’s been a long day of riding. You’re finally home and as you pull into your neighborhood you see most of your neighbors are out in the front yard enjoying the warm summer weather. You pull up on your driveway. Turn off the bike’s ignition and start taking off your gloves and helmet, knowing your neighbors may be watching you. You get up and step off the bike. Only problem is you’ve forgotten to put the kickstand down and you and the bike both fall over in a tangled mess of motorcycle and thrashing limbs.
Brain Fade 8: You’ve not been feeling well for a couple of days and that head cold you’ve got has really brought you down. What better way to perk yourself up and feel better than a quick motorcycle ride? And, not surprisingly, it works. That is until you have to sneeze at 60 mph in a full-face helmet.
Brain Fade 9: Time to fill the bike up with gas. Trouble is, it’s a bit busy at the gas station with a lot of people and vehicles. Everyone looks at you on your bike. You find a pump, fill the gas tank and get back on. Everyone is still watching you. For the next two minutes your bike won’t start no matter what you do to it. Everyone is still watching you. Eventually you realize you’d forgotten you’d hit the kill switch when you first pulled up. You finally get the engine going again and leave. Everyone is still watching you.
Brain Fade 10: You’re about to get on a freeway from the slip road and it looks like the road ahead is really empty. Time to open the bike up and really get things going. Only problem is you’ve left your tank bag unzipped and, as you accelerate hard, all your worldly possessions are now starting to fly out at an alarming rate. That spare pair of expensive motorcycle gloves you were saving for a special occasion have just shot out and hit you on the leg and it looks like your wallet is about to jump ship too. You check your mirrors and that once empty freeway now has a mass of vehicles coming up fast behind you and they appear to have run over everything that’s flying out of your tank bag.