Riding a motorcycle is perhaps one of the great experiences in life, and most of us relish the thought of getting onto our 'beast' and heading out into the great beyond. However, getting to our nirvana is often made a lot more difficult by drivers that simply don't understand our need for space and who fail to understand (or care) what irritates motorcyclists in general. This got me thinking about my list of the most irritating things that drivers do and perhaps you can associate with these.
6. "Mind-The-Gap'' drivers are those that tend to drive on the line and who remain oblivious of the fact that there is a bike behind them. These guys tend to focus on getting their behemoth SUV's as close to the lane dividers as possible, stopping any biker from passing between vehicles - particularly in traffic and at traffic lights. They are ignorant to the fact that filtering (lane-splitting) by motorcycles is perfectly legal in this country and that being a douche-bag is just annoying! Much as the saying goes, 'it's smaller than it seems', the 'Mind-The-Gap' drivers have earned their spot on this list for sheer stupidity, spite and arrogance.
5."The Flicker" is a driver that unconsciously flicks his cigarette butt out of that tiny space between
widow and door without understanding the sheer terror and panic it causes when it hits a bikers open visor or open jacket behind him. That insignificant, unwanted piece of poison that he discards makes getting a bee in your helmet seem like a mild toothache, and it has led to many-a-biker abandoning reason and self-preservation in an effort to prevent third-degree burns to parts unknown! Add to these sod's, those that simply chuck their unwanted litter from their vehicles at speed - leaving trailing motorcyclists avoiding cold chips, beer cans and slush-puppies or picking bits of leftover meals from their face!
4. "Tailgaters" are those inconsiderate, macho cagers that believe getting as close to the back of a bike is fun. They tend to bring their muscle cars, bakkies and SUV's as close as they can to read the
'do not remove helmet' stickers on bikers, totally unaware of the consequences of a sudden change in pace by the biker. This breed of moron is however, not usually restricted to doing this to bikers because they tend to do the same to other drivers as a norm. Our general response is to try create space, but they then take this spurt of power as a sign that the game is on, closing the gap again. Unfortunately, there is little we can do but 'flip' them and hope they get the message. Alternatively, a pocket-full of marbles can be a great remedy!
3. "The Multitasker" is perhaps one of our favourite fools. These guys believe they can multitask while driving, using their smart-phones like remote controls - totally oblivious of their surroundings while they make small chat with their lovers and friends. Irrespective of the fact
that this is highly illegal, in countries where policing is a joke, these guys can create havoc with just a thumb! Glancing at a text while driving takes on average 5 seconds - the amount of time it takes to cover the distance of four football fields! And texters are not alone in this multitask category, consider the driver trying to cram his Big Mac into his mouth while driving; or the she-devil applying make-up at 130k/h or even the harassed mother trying to smack the brains out of a misbehaving back-seat toddler, and riding can become 'interesting'.
2. "The Last Minute-er' is that twat that leaves the decision to turn/change lanes/ stop to the last nanosecond of his/her consciousness, leaving trailing vehicles with screeching brakes and
avoidance measures that leave you speechless. On the 'pucker-value' chart of terror, this gets a solid 9 with bikers, often resulting in the need to change underwear and repair odd-looking dents in the petrol tank as he grabs a handfull of brake while trying hard not to land in front of his bike. And the best of all, is that absolute waste of humankind will continue totally oblivious of the trail of confusion he has left in his wake!
And now my favourite.....
1. "The Braker" is the driver that feels it necessary to touch their brake as they change into the fast lane or when they see a biker approaching from behind. What the hell is that all about? These are the same neanderthals that brake for cows moving in a field alongside a motorway, or that feel it
necessary to keep 10km/h below the speed limit in the fast lane and touch their brakes from time to time to make sure they do! Drive it or park it twat! It doesn't matter what level of rider you are, that sudden bright red light tends to make the 'pucker-value' chart at the very top as we attempt to make thirty decisions at once in an effort to stay alive! My absolute favourite thing!
Let us know what your favourite things are and help develop a new list that we can hopefully educate misguided motorists about the really dumb things they do.